February 18, 2009- Day 37- Love to Hate

Do you ever LOVE to hate? I HATE my fucking roommate. There...I said it. Yes, mom, yes Donna, YES everyone, it's my page and I can write what I wanna! So I said it...and if she reads it I could care less, because that's obviously what she thinks of me...couldn't give a shit less about me or my other roommate or what she says to us and how she says it. I just can't FUCKING stand her anymore.

Aside from the fact that we have agreed she's really, really awkward, she's also REALLY REALLY rude. She constantly picks out all the things I do and touch that are wrong or incorrect or not good enough. She puts us down and tells us daily in her very condescending demeanor how much better than us she thinks she is. Usually a daily reminder starts with how AMAZING Tyler is (Temple's art school) and how smart and creative they are. This past week, she even had the nerve to claim that the whole Temple Rome program wouldn't exist if it weren't for the brilliant Tyler students. Sure. Because Temple is SUCH an amazing school and I'm sure Tyler is right up there with all the best schools in NY....mmm hmmm. She continually makes comments that are insulting and unnecessary like her comparison of my mom who WORKS for a doctor and her dad who IS a doctor, or her flat out remark that mine and my roommate's photography class is probably a piece of shit because it's not an "art" photography class and that Tyler kids shouldn't be taking it.

She also likes to pinpoint when I have done really BAD things, like when I once left the bedroom window open when we all left for the day (to air out the room when she was sick), or when I cleaned the bedroom floor with a towel because clumps of dust were gathering and making us all cough and sneeze at night...but it's all OK when she leaves the gas on even after cooking, doesn't clean the drain of the sink out, or leaves the lights on in every room. Don't think I don't let her know about it in my nice and friendly little ways!

I, being the tough and argumentative person that you all know me to be, usually don't let her get by with such bitchy remarks. But even though I TRY to put her in her place, her relentless downpour of shit talk and negative rambling end in me dropping the refutes. It's just not worth it. I'm not even sure if she realizes how crude, hurtful, and disrespectful her comments are. But I try to shrug it off.

Usually, we sit in the living room in silence, because I honestly don't even want to say a word to her. We have nothing in common, and I feel like anything I say will be argued against, negated, and made into something she thinks is stupid. Even when I make a comment or suggestion about something fun or interesting, little Debbie Downer has something bad to say about it. But the tense and awkward silence doesn't keep her mouth shut. I usually endure loud and obnoxious rambles from her talking to the TV or to her computer, or yelling out things like "OWWW!" "damnit" "fuck" and so on. It's hardly amusing. I just think she's probably a sad person that doesn't know how to make friends and DEFINITELY doesn't know how to act in a social setting. But bitch better back off because she has NO idea who she's FUCKING dealing with.

It's all been eating me up from the get-go. I had a bad feeling about her from the start. But I try to make my experience here as fun and exciting as possible, without trying to include her in it...otherwise I'd be constantly miserable. I try to stay out of the apartment as much as possible because, really, I feel like I have nothing to come home to but my friends, my mom, and Roger on Skype. I don't know why I always get the worst roommates but, someone out there must hate me! If anything at all, this trip has thus far taught me to better deal with the people I'm living with and try to let things slide. It's not easy, trust me. But most of you know how I am, and I can honestly say I've done a pretty good job at not letting my angry/annoyed emotions show as clearly as in the past. I do get fed up, and I do argue when I want to, but the bitch is lucky I haven't clocked her one yet. I just really hate know-it-all's, hate being told what to do by someone with no authority and no purpose to me, and I especially have no respect for someone who blatantly hates on me in my face for no good reason and can't seem to keep this place a fun and happy environment. It's sad if you think about it really, that one girl can't be positive and friendly with two others who came here for the time of their lives and are trying to have an amazing experience. We get along for the most part in the sense of living, but our personalities are COMPLETELY off. I didn't really want to post this, but after a whole month of keeping it in, I kind of had to. It's something I have to get over, and not sure if I will, but I'm coping...and waiting for my final days of her being in my presence.